true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
