New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
