Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
