Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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