Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
