He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
