he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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