Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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