R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
