oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Terrible idea I love it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
