You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
