he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
