so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
