He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Randomize
