Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
