Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
