I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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