Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
After last night, I could never be a politician.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
