Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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