called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
