yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
