Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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