dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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