Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
