I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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