8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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