Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
