D3 body, D1 cock
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
