I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize