it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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