The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
