yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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