Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
