Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
