Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
