The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My nipple is on Facebook.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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