I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
