Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
