he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
her facebook's as public as her vagina
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
