It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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