I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
