Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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