Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
