if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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