Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
