You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
