Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
