Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
