you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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