I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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