Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
