You're so nebulous sometimes
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Terrible idea I love it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
